<<...This nattily-dressed gentleman put the durian on the road, climbed up on it precariously and began jumping up and down on it, flapping his arms!

I was dumbstruck. Was this the recognised filipino way of opening durians?! As I scrambled for my camera, giggling uncontrollably, the man lost his footing and fell over. To my considerably annoyance, he then picked himself and his unopened durian up and walked back to the fruit stall, muttering crossly.

I jumped out and began stalking him at a safe distance in what I hoped was a casual, disinterested way. (Death by Durian is probably excruciating, remember the mace-like exterior? Definitely not on my agenda!). I had to find out more!!

The fruit stall owner, under loud protests, now took a bolo (machete) and began hacking away at the durian, at which point the gentleman's wife (noticeably more petite than he was) took the durian from her and began jumping on it too!

My interest was considerable at this point: Death of a Durian! And there was considerable violence involved!This was considerably more entertaining that I'd imagined!

I sneaked closer.

Then three things happened simultaneously: My camera clicked and flashed, Johnny began honking, and the bolo-brandishing old hag caught sight of me and began screaming what I took to be a suitable selection of blood-curdling pinoy threats.

Feeling a great deal of unwanted attention focusing on me very suddenly, I decided that a quick sprint back to the car was probably a great idea under the circumstances - discretion being the better part of valour and all ..... and so I did, greatly hampered by a fit of giggles.

Johnny hadn't witnessed this Durian Drama and was understandably curious. I'd disappeared, only to come rushing back, yelling "Go - go - GO!" after which I giggled hysterically for the next 15 km....

I only managed to take this single photograph of the event. Asking several Filipinos and other South East Asians about this novel way of opening their national fruit has reduced them to helpless tears of laughter too.

Regrettably, it seems that hacking a durian open is the way to go. No jumping or tossing or other physical exertion is required.... What a pity, life would be so much more entertaining!

Sharon Marcussen
Mindanao 1999